Dog Days of Summer: August 27

In keeping with our dog-day posts, here is a round-up of the latest in the hockey world.

Heeeeeere’s Bert! — Todd Bertuzzi was introduced to the Calgary media yesterday and as you’d expect it was quite the scrum. Canadian hockey fans are starved for news, and Big Bert talking to them was like finding Alessandra Ambrosio waiting for you in your hotel room. To his credit, Bertuzzi was pretty humble and seemed grateful to be back in Canada, although he admited that he wasn’t expecting to become a Flame.

Liar and Cheater is Sorry — Henry Samueli, the Anaheim Ducks owner is sorry.  In a 2-page letter, Samueli apologized for lying to the SEC about some shady stock option handouts.  The letter is most likely a way to reduce the sentence that is to be handed out September 8th. The prosecution is asking for 5 years probation and a $12 million fine. I’d like to think that I’m $12 million dollars worth of fine but the truth is, when I start to feel the bugs crawling, I’ll pretty much do anything for about eight bucks. (Damn you Trainspotting!! Why did you have to make the heroin lifestyle seem so glamorous??!!)
What’s It Gonna Be, Joe? — Looks like tomorrow is decision day for Joe Sakic. He’s scheduled a press conference to announce something prior to his annual charity golf tournament. No one is sure what he’s going to say, but there’s a distinct possibility that it will be golf-related and have zero to do with hockey. Aren’t these stories fun?

It’s a Girl! — Our favorite, favorite, favorite Rumor of The Day gal has gave birth to a baby girl on Sunday.  I guess giving birth to an adolescent girl woulda been pretty f-ing creepy, eh? Now before all the internet gossip sites run away with the story, let me just say for the record that it’s totally true, she has my nose. No, not the kid - Alessandra. I thought it would be a good way to show her that I’m both obsessive romantic and compulsive spontaneous. Anyways, here’s some vintage Alessandra for ya. You’re welcome.